I gotta get into the Gap

I think I’ve found my perfect, dream job.
Only it’s not so much a job as it is a hobby.
But it’s not really a hobby as it is …
Me buying things and then letting others know what I think of it.
See --- a perfect job for me! My love of shopping, writing and telling my opinion all wrapped up into one perfect career.
The Gap and Old Navy – my two Mecca’s for clothing – want to know what I think about their products I order online. Not only do they request to know how I feel about my recent purchases, they asked me to create a user name and log in password to further authenticate my opinion pieces.
Yeah, I’m pretty special.
Very few things are more fun than rating, categorizing and providing feedback on an article of clothing. For about three minutes I feel like a clothing editor in “Lucky,” “In Style,” or even “Vogue.” For those 180 seconds I get to use words like “empire waist,” “embellishments,” “structure” and “accessorize.”
It’s pretty much three minutes of pure bliss.
Look for Gap Lover 99 for all your honest clothing review findings.
Now, if I can only find out how to turn this completely voluntary, money-spending Internet review gig into an actual paying job where I don’t have to first fork over the money to buy said clothing, I’d be in a constant state of bliss.
Gap Inc., I’m available for hire.

LiLo and ATho

Inmates are sick of Lindsay Lohan. Inmates, you are not alone. I am, too.

But the infamous party girl is out. She was released at 1:35 a.m. from a Lynwood, Calif. jail and ordered to go directly to rehab. No stops, no family, just straight to another place where mean people will tell her what to do, where I'm sure someone will treat her "unfairly" and it will make the news.

It always makes the news.

But it is people like me who are guilty for further promoting this girl, who let's face it, is just famous because she was once an up and coming starlet. I read the numerous news stories about what inmates at the time thought of her, how she was not able to smoke but could keep her hair extensions and still take her ADD and sleeping aid medications. I try not to click on the headline links calling out LiLo news -- but it doesn't work. I will read everything -- even political news -- before finally succumbing to the temptation. I try and rationalize it: If I read the “real” news first it some how makes it OK to read this gossip.

Did she exit the facility after visiting the small, dirty bathroom in the jail's waiting area before her big exit? Did her staff of hair, make up and wardrobe consultants get to have any time with her? Was she really wearing leggings from her clothing line that debuted last week with out her? Ugh -- this information is now in my brain and it may never come out. It probably pushed out other information that I might really need to retain like how to spell certain words or what five times five is.

I hate myself a little for knowing this stuff.

But my all-time favorite quote from "a source" in the latest story on People.com, "[Lindsay] felt she deserved the day to spend with her family after she behaved well in jail." What?! After she behaved well in jail? Is not behaving in jail an option? Can you not behave when you sit alone in a cell for hours upon hours? I just want to smack this cocaine-loving, pill-popping, waif of a girl and tell her, despite to what her deranged parents have said to her, the world does not revolve around her.

Or maybe it does. Because there's people like me who take enough time out of their lives to read countless silly stories and write our own opinions about her.

I feel like a little piece of my soul is missing. I officially hate myself now.